Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
