names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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