So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
