At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
