my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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