I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im holly from the hills drunk
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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