I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
