I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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