I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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