i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
