ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
