he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
