If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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