Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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