Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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