I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
