Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
