whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
