he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
