I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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