Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize