It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
