I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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