Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize