I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
