Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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