my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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