So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize