how hairy? two words: wookie tits
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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