is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
