what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize