You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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