my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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