Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The power of my boobs compel you
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
