I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
