if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
