when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
