i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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