we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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