We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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