I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
