Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
