I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
