I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
