Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
