Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
