goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
