Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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