If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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