Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
