Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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