I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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