i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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