hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
