Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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