well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
