She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Pappa wants mamma naked
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
