But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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