Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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