i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
