Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
