Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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