I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
